Those old days

As I close my eyes, I see a smiling face of my childhood friend “Neha”. Her plump and candid face comes in my mind as I try to picture her. We used to talk for hours and spend our summer vacations planning all afternoon. She is in Australia now a days and we are hardly in touch with each other. I wish I could go back in those summer afternoons filled with laughers and smiles. I cannot go back in time, but it is so heart wrenching that same girl is in some other part of this world, may be free like me in her summer afternoon for a little chit chat over a cup of tea but we no longer meet or chat even if it is still practically possible.

Sometimes, I think of those beautiful days when I used to tour the roads of Pune on bike and had that tasty mango milkshake and natural’s ice cream every other evening while chatting nonstop with happiness in my eyes. The coffee shops whose couches had witnessed my insane talks with planning for future over a cup of coffee. One can not go back in time, but it is so heartbreaking that there are so many coffee shops out there, those same people are still in this world spending their evenings somewhere, may be ready for a cup of coffee to share their stories just like me but we no longer meet or chat even if it still practically possible.

Sometimes, I think of those childhood days spend in my grandmothers’ home, where we all cousins used to play and tease each other for hours. The room filled with laughter with my aunts and mother smiling in corners while doing their own chit chats. My mother, aunts, and cousins would be somewhere busy in their own life, may be free to do chit chats and harmless bantering again but we no longer gather like this even if it is still practically possible.

There are so many people whom I want to meet and chat and listen to their stories, but we no longer speak or in touch like we used to do. Life is so short, yet we do not realize how time flies. I replay my memories during sleepless nights and meet those people again and again with my share of stories but open my eyes with the disappointment that I may not able to live those moments in real again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The arranged marriage

Marriages in India is like a festival which is mandatory to be celebrated for every boy and girl being born. If you don’t marry , you will be seen as a suspicious personality who has  some hidden motives or to the extreme extent some hidden problems. If you don’t get married at the right age ( which can be anywhere between 18 to 32 , depending upon the place or clan you belong ), the whole world including the fat neighbour , friends, family become so much worried for you as if these are your last days on earth and only your marriage can save this holy place.

Well that was marriage in India. But Its not only about marriage. It has to be an arranged marriage. A marriage which is arranged by parents. Its their choice first and then your turn comes or it may not come at all. My Parents were married since past 40. They were the loveliest couple I have ever seen.  They were so much in love. I saw a idle family where there were almost no fights , an open and communicative environment and a happy go marry situation. My parents haven’t seen each other even once before their marriages. I too married a guy who was completely my parents choice at the first place. Although after our engagement we dated for almost 8 months before finally tying the knot but it was completely arranged by my parents. This amazed the western world. We feel proud too in our system which has almost none divorces since past decades.

Now, India has seeing many love marriages too. People are choosing their partners themselves. They decide with whom they want to spend rest of their life. Parents too are also shagging the old baggage of society and tradition. Well some intellectual authors blame the increasing numbers of divorce rates to love marriages. this actually competed me to write this blog article. I couldn’t stop myself from expressing how much I hate arranged marriages. Yes arrange marriage has give me a gem of a person who I cannot find myself but still I can not digest the idea of not choosing the partner of your choice yourself.

arranged-marriagesIf you do love marriage, then you wont get the support from your parents and this finally led to breaking up the marriage. Well why to blame love for this bitter situation. Increasing Divorce rates are not because of not getting parents supports, they are simply because now women are getting more independent, more educated. Instead of sheading some tears in some lonely corner, now they prefer to simple walk out of their hell. Earlier women were not working, they were totally dependent on their spouse and were treated as a baggage on their parents. Were they having any choice that time? Now There were so much society pressure that women succumb to the slavery of their husbands all their life and still don’t even raise a voice. Have an affair outside, she will die with fear that you will leave her. Beat her or treat her, she will be your wife all her life. Now this is getting changed. You beat her and she will treat you in jail. Have an affair outside, she will make an hell out of it and will not spare you to be able to date any other women all your life. More and more women are getting educated and realizes that its better to live a lonely respectable life then live the pretence of being happily married to somebody who is not worth it.

I have seen many good , infect idle example of arranged marriages but I have seen many bad examples too. Where the partners are simply too incompatible to each other that it was not even possible for them to breath under same air. I bet they wished many times to kill each other silently but simply couldn’t because they need to be labelled as “Happily Married” .What kind of proud is in the system which silently kills someone from inside and shows a very healthy pompous site outside?

“Oh my grandparents were happy, my parents were happy, my aunty uncle were happy, they were all having arranged marriage. So I too believe that my parents will choose the best for me”, this one statement irritates me a lot. Nobody’s parents choose nothing but the best for their children but its simply should be your choice as it your life. Marriage decides the rest of your life. The children you bore and even 80% of your decisions afterwards. Simply giving away the most basic right to somebody else even if that’s your parents simply not a fact to digest.You want to choose your carrier yourself, your car yourself , your jeans yourself , your friends yourself, but not your wife/husband?

 

 

 

 

Quotes to remember

thought2

Many a times, we came across such wonderful words which carried a lot of depth. Sharing those precious thoughts with you all..

You will never find anything, unless you’re looking for something. —Dave Gray

“Sometimes it is better to be kind than to be right. We do not need an intelligent mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens”

Will keep on adding this list with more warming thoughts…..Do comment with your favorite quote.Would love to include that in my post.

 

Man you are such a blind….

imagesOH poor man you are such a blind…
You can see your daughters tears but can not see your wife’s
You can feel sad for the girls out there but can still ignore what is right…
OH Poor man you are such a blind…
You can write long slogans on Facebook but still every word by your parents is right….
You can see how hard she works, still for you your couch is fine..
OH poor man you are such a blind…
You want a working wife but still you want a perfect Indian bride…
You know everything still you said you are right….
OH poor man you are such a blind…

CC#10 : I Wish I Had…..

Hi Friends, Finally i gave my 10th speech in Toastmaster’s club. I Hope you will like reading it.

dying-man

“I wish I had…” This is the most common statement. I wish I had said yes to her. I wish I accepted that job offer. I wish I had tried more etc. etc. This statement “I wish I had!” is an expression of regret. Yes Regret! Regret is one of the saddest feeling. Why sad? Because we regret for something which happened in the past. And once a moment is gone, it’s gone forever for never to be returned. Friends today through my speech, I would like to share with you all the top 5 regrets of dying people to make us all realize certain things before these regrets become our regrets.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. Recently in her book, she revealed the top 5 regrets which people made in their dying state. More money or more power or missed doing their bungee jumping can be their regrets. Well if you have guessed these then the answer is No!

The no 1 regret people had is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”. I read these lines again and again and each time I realized that this really applies to me. I asked myself why I don’t have this courage. To be frank, I am living a life which is not true to me. I am living my each day doing things which others expect me of doing. Sometimes I feel as if it does not matter to others what I really want. But it matters to me because it’s my life and if I don’t have this courage now then I will have this regret later in my life. Friend I do not want to convince anybody here to live their life the way you really want to live but just want you all to realize the fact that if you are not living that life then sooner or later you will have this regret. Life is short and with each day is slipping away from your hand like sand. Save it before it’s too late.

Well what’s the second regret….?

sleeping-desk-620jt112612I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. This came usually from male patient. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners.

My last assignment in Nagarro took almost a year to finish and believe me I have never seen such a hard working project manager in my life. Throughout the year, each day my manager used to come office early but always the last one to go. This may be the story of others as well. But people on their death bed don’t regret making more money or to be more successful in their carrier. Instead their top regret is “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard”. We do know what is more important to us but still the irony is that though out our life we chased something which is actually not that important. So friends have a balance in your life. Your children and your spouse are equally important as your carrier. Make them as your strength not the reason of your regret later.

Well Third regret….

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Well don’t we hide our feelings? We suppress our feeling to in order to keep peace with others. Do you know the bitterment and resentment we carried each day can later become the cause of many of our illnesses? Express it out. Don’t keep it there. You will really feel light. Although it’s one of the difficult things in this world especially when these feeling are negative but its truth after all and truth is always bitter so express it out.

Well the fourth regret…

CaptureFriends! From class 1st till now, I remember the name and time spend with my best friends. I still remember my first friend in school “Amritagiri” and then Sangita and then Kawaljeet Kaur. I can still recall a very vivid pictures of that time spend with these girls. Well thanks to facebook and social media. At least now we know where they are but still just adding them on facebook and reliving you old days with friend are two different things. The later one needs your time which you don’t have now a days. But friends let me tell you. the fourth regret is “I wish I had stayed  touch with my friends”. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. Meet them and get them back in your life.

Well any guesses for the fifth regret and the last one?

happiness_2The fifth regret is about “That sad little face”, “the time spend crying all night”. The fifth regret is about happiness. “I wish that I have let myself be happier” is the fifth regret. Yes this is surprising the common one. Until the end we do not realize that Happiness is actually a choice and not a matter of our circumstances. One or the other problem will always remain in our life. We always find one reason to remain sad but always ingnore those 100 reasons which are enough to keep us happy. Well still if anybody in this room says that he/she is not happy then let me give you a reason to be happy. Look at your hands .Stretch it out in the air. Widen your eyes. Look around. Can you see these beautiful colours around you? Is that not enough what we can see, what we can touch. We have hands to do what we want. We have eyes to see this beautiful world. This should be enough reason to keep us all happy I guess.

Well Friends. These were the top 5 regrets of dying people. I wish we don’t have any single one of them when we say our final good bye. We have time and we are young. So live the life true to yourself; don’t work too hard that you miss your children or partner; Go get your friends back; express yourself and be happy. Yes be happy 🙂

 

old days……

Its 3 Am and there is no sign of sleep in my eyes. I am so tired but still there is no sign of sleep. Watching on facebook the profiles of prople who are no more in my life. Seeing the pictures of my old time. Checking the messages of old friends. I am not sad but just little nostalgic for old days. Sometimes, you just wish to go back in past and want to relive your life again as if its a new beginning. Want to correct some mistakes, want to speak something which remain unsaid. Wish to fulfil some dreams which remained broken. Want to smile for all the moments which you spend crying all night. But then you realize how hard you try and how much you wish, you can’t bring back the time. Each moments is precious and like a gem which once gone will be gone forever. Never fight  and always smile. Forgive more and love more. Love with your all heart and live the moments as you were never goanna relive it again. 🙂

Its me again…..

imagesAfter a long while, I am sitting all alone in a small one room apartment.

There is nobody here and everybody seems so distant. It’s all me and myself.

I am 7000 miles away from home and still feel so much calm inside.

All these years of living away from my family and all the ups and down of my life made me so much

turbulent inside. Thus I just want to remain with myself only. This gives me time to concentrate on

my actions and my life.

Last years was an unexpected one for me. I got married and all of a sudden my whole life turned upside down. I always wanted to life a simple life where there is less expectations, less emotions and less confrontations. Here I get the same life. Life is very simple. I get up early in the morning, make my own breakfast, eat it and gets office without any hassle. People just work quietly in office all the time. There are no breaks except lunch and everybody seems to enjoy their own.

In the evening everybody gets out of the office very silently and just on time.

I too pick my bag and get back to my apartment at the strike of 6. Again make the dinner and enjoy eating it.

I do not want to do any social media anymore. Stopped reading newspapers and watching movies as it gives me headache. They don’t interest me anymore. What I like enjoying now a days is reading book with a cup of coffee….